One thing I forgot to mention: when I was at the doctor's on Thursday and she was telling me that I have strep, she said that there's an outside chance that it's mono, which of course let me to think of one of my favorite lines from Wayne's World: " I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored."
Makes me laugh every time.

Let's be honest here: We all know that for most people, being put onto a feeding tube in a hospital isn't a good thing. My question is this: How many of you out there think that outside of the failing health thing, having your food put into your body via a feed tube doesn't sound like such a bad deal?
I've been laid up with strep throat since Sunday afternoon. Yesterday was my first fever-free day since Saturday. I've taken some kind of pill every day since last Sunday, when we got that half-foot of snow that gave me a cold.
Now I'm on an anti-biotic of some kind and I actually feel like eating, but even microwaving a tv dinner feels like too much effort. Plus, the chicken alfredo thing I ate a couple of hours ago smelled pretty bad. (It tasted ok)
So what am I trying to say? Eating dinner tonight via tube sounds like a pretty good idea.


Why is it so rare for an NBA GM to get fired? We all know the Steve Francis trade the Knicks made this week is a bad deal, but do we have to put up with Isiah for 2 more years like we did with "Fire" Layden? I'm thinking of officially putting my Knicks fan membership on hiatus until Isiah is gone. I guess I'm ok with the team willingly spending 2 or 3 times the league's salary cap, but they're not getting anyone who is worth anything near their salary.
When will they trade Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps? I'm pretty sure Hideki Irabu is still available, too.

Maybe it's just me, but it feels like I haven't written anything in a while. There's a good reason for that: I haven't really done anything noteworthy, nor have I thought of anything so stupendous that I had to blog it.

Sorry.

One question that will never be answered: Which came first, shell-don williams, or Ken Griffey Jr. with gigantism?

Frankly, I really don't care who did what to who. Ken Griffey Jr. with gigantism is much funnier than the soon-to-be-next-first-round-draft-bust, shell-don williams.
("It's like there's a party in my mouth, and everybody's invited!")

So I was at the game today. I wasn't expecting much of a game, and it really wasn't. It was a 3 possession game most of the time. However, it was still a great time just reading all of the signs that the oh so clever students came up with:

What's JJ Redick's favorite foul? the back door violation (so inventive were these students, that when security tried to confiscate it, they just passed it down the row to some other students)

Our (Gary) Williams is better than your (shell-don) Williams

Coach K is a piece of Krzit. (There's no way a name spelled like is actually pronounced like everyone thinks it is.)

Of course there were several others that I either couldn't read or weren't funny. F them.

In attendance: Cal ripken jr, the guy who owns the ravens, lefty driesell, Wilbon and Kornholser (wearing a cap, like no one knows how bald he is) the Sportscenter anchor who went to UMD, and Mike Grinnon.

My morning commute, on average, is slowed to a crawl 1.5 days a week. It's an easy drive, 10 miles total, most of which is on an interstate. There's one exit and a merge, it should be smooth sailing, right?

Wrong.

Half of those 1.5 days that I'm stuck rolling along at 20mph, it's because some schmuck pulled over (or got pulled over) and now everyone has to look to see what's going on. In most circles, this is called rubbernecking. It's something else that everyone complains about, no one admits to, and nobody does anything about it.
My answer: you know how ERs have those curtains for privacy so that not everyone has to be subjected to viewing massive head wounds? Every DOT with a highway should set up those same curtains along each shoulder. Put duckies and bunnies on them for aesthetics. (They already have those walls up, these are just closer to the road and softer)

Just the fact that rubbernecking is socially acceptable is nuts. What are people looking for, intestines strewn about the highway? Spare change? I'm pretty sure they're not looking to see how that car held up in a crash, which of course would be the best reason to look at an accident when you're flying by at 70+mph.

You people make me sick. Maybe I'll pull off to hurl later this week, you all can slow down to watch.

Why radio sucks: 94.7 is playing the best of 1972 today. For the last hour+, they've been playing the Stones Hot Rocks, a compilation of the stuff they did from 63-71. The album was released by their manager w/out their consent (or something like that).
I really don't think they should be mentioning this album. Don't you think they played Paint It, Black when they covered '66 last week???
And Exile on Main St. came out in '72. Why don't you play that?

Wasting 2 hours of airtime on a compilation? Surely there was something worthwhile that was released in '72.

This radio station is featuring a different year in rock a day. Today is 1972, meaning Thursday they're doing 1974!!

"...Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact." - Homer.

2/28: Free short stack at IHOP: fyi

Porch sittin'

Mr. Steve Martin hosting Saturday Night Live: Is there anything better on tv? Me thinks not.

A teddy bear holding a heart? He really put a lot of thought into that gift....

(fyi: I'm pretty toasted right now, niiiicely toasted) (yet I can still spell. sweet)

Quote of the Day: Scene: bedroom, hetero girl is about to 'get it on' with a gay guy:
Girl: I don't take it in the ass.
Guy: That makes one of us.

Pet Peeves: This is something I plan on writing about whenever I can think of one to add.

1. People who use the same words or phrases over and over again. "Whatnot" has been a big one for me for years. Last year some guy called into my morning radio show, Elliot in the Morning and used the phrase "...this, that, and the other" more than once a minute for the duration of his call. I work with a guy who prefaces every opinionated statement with "Well, my thing is (insert statement here)"
I would hope that people would realize there there are like a Brazillion other words in the dictionary that, in various combinations, work as a perfectly good substitute for their phrasical crutch as well as the one that they tend to use.
It's called THINKING people!!!

Quote of the day: "I'm like electricity, I always follow the path of least resistance"

-Yours truly.

Question of the day: We all know there are generally two types of men: those who wash/rinse their hands after going #1, and those who don't. And we all know that it's socially acceptable to make fun of those who don't.
Today I came across someone trying to break down the "glass ceiling" of bathroom handwashing. He didn't go near clean running water, but he did wipe his hands with a paper towel when he was done.
What are we supposed to make of this? Is that acceptable? Is it just the same as not washing? Or is this a whole new class of hygenically impared people? (and if so, do they get their own parking spaces)

"Let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen"