My all time favorite holiday movies (in order):
1. Ernest Saves Christmas
2. Bad Santa
3. Christmas Vacation
4. Elf
5. Santa Does Dallas
6. Harold & Kumar go to christmas
7. Bill & Santa's Excellent Adventure

if I ever attain public office, I promise to mandate that anyone who wishes to use the self-scan thingy at the grocery store (or anywhere that has one) he must pass a test and get a license which must be updated on a regular basis, like every five years or so.

Porch sittin'
So it looks like the great Commonwealth (whatever that means) of Virginia will be banning same sex marriage. Good for them. I still don't get it. What's so important about keeping two people from doing what they want to?? What is there to be gained by keeping marriage strictly heterosexual? The sanctity of it? What a load of bullshit. how many marriages out there are shams? What about that Representative from Florida, whatshisname, Foley? Now there's a reason to keep gays from marrying. What the right is forgetting is that there isn't a marriage problem with him, because the objects of his affection aren't old enough to get legally married.
I've been happily married for over two years, thus giving me a soapbox to bitch from. I say if two people really want to get married, and if that involves being out of the closet and having to put up with more shit than any straight person can imagine, then let them. We've been allowing people to get married just for a green card for years, how is that any less a violation of the sanctity of marriage?

Random thought: I want some Chinese food.

and I'm back. Actually, that's about all I have to say. People are still allowed to carry guns around, how is that a more important liberty than being allowed to marry someone of the same sex??

Perhaps more importantly, the college basketball season officially starts tonight, and the mercurial Maryland team is really taking it to Hampdon in the first half 30-13. This should be an interesting year. For the first time since 2004, they have an actual point guard. Not just that, but they have TWO!!! Hopefully, coach Williams remembers what to do with them. They have 5 newcomers on the team, and most of the rest of the team wasn't around for their ACC championship. All I ask for is that their players play like they're supposed to. For 4 year we had to put up with Travis Garrison, a 6'9" forward repeatedly hand around the three-point line and hoist up jumpers. He was the only one who didn't seem to know that the team would have been better off if he set up in the paint. I think he learned his softness from Tahj Holden.
I'm trying to watch this movie called Crime & Punishment in Suburbia and I have no f'ing clue what is going on, aside from some girl whose parents have separated. She is quite good at showing off her chest. All I've figured out so far is that her boyfriend was in Detroit Rock City. I just read that this movie is loosely based on Dostoyevsky's "Crime and Punishment" which I own, but have no intention on reading. From what I gather about Russian writers, I have no chance at being able to understand what is going on without being able to put forth an effort that I just don't have. you know what that's like, right?

Oh, and remind me to tell you about my riding in the Tour du Port.

ttfn

Porch sittin'
And on a related note: Countries I've been to:

Canada (Ontario & Quebec, a couple times each)
Tijuana, Mexico
Aruba
St. Lucia
England
Germany
and I almost went to Holland when I was about 7, but my grandmother passed away the night before : (
I feel like I'm missing one. I'm sure someone will let me know (I'm pretty sure New England doesn't count)

Porch sittin'
Ah, homeownership. Our town will vacuum up your leaves (I think that's how they do it) twice a year, usually once in November and once in December. They sent out the schedule a few weeeks ago and I made sure to put our street's dates into Outlook. For whatever reason, I thought the first suck-up was next week. When I got to work this morning, a reminder popped up that the sucking begins this Wednesday and all of our leaves are still strewn about the yard.
Sunset these days is just after 5pm, or right when I leave the office, and with my bike ride home (yes, still) it's good and dark by the time I get home. but still, we have a lot of leaves (and pine needles (EVERgreen my ass) and all I have to do is rake them down the hill to the curb. It sure beats raking everything into piles, putting it all into bags that I have to pay for, and then putting the bags into the garage and a few days later, carrying those same bags down to the curb to be picked up by the trashmen (not the Surfin' Bird band)
so today when i got home, I put on my sneakers and raked like the dickens, still in my bike clothes. I think I like raking in the dark. If I miss a spot, I probably won't know about it, I'm not going to miss a bunch of football, and it's cooler so I won't sweat up a storm, and maybe some of the annoying neighbors stay away from me, the eccentric Old Man Greene. Frankly, I don't see a downside.
And, I didn't miss out on forming the callous (sp??) on my thumb from my work gloves. Who needs all that skin anyways?

Porch sittin'
You know what I have decided is fun? Unnecessarily bidding on items on ebay. I just drove up the price of a cycling jacket from $10 to $30. Not only do you get to help the economy while still sitting in front of the tv, you get a little rush, just like playing low-stakes blackjack.
I could also feel this way after getting jilted on an auction on Friday night when I missed a bid in the last 5 seconds.
Now that you know this, don't bid against me, I'll find you.

Porch sittin'
Alec Baldwin quote: "The Italians have a saying, 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but they've never won a war or mass produced a decent car...'"

Random List:

States that I've been in for a significant amount of time:
1. New Jersey
2. New York
3. Massachussets
4. Connecticut
5. New Hampshire
6. Vermont
7. Maine
8. Rhode Island
9. Pennsylvania
10. Ohio
11. Maryland
12. Delaware
13. Virginia
14. West Virginia
15. Kentucky
16. Tennessee
17. Georgia
18. Florida
19. South Carolina
20. North Carolina
21. Louisiana
22. California
23. Oregon
24. Michigan


States that I've had a layover in but never left the airport: Illinois, Texas, Colorado....I think that's it. Texas will be getting bumped up to the big list next year when we go visit the in-laws.
Speaking of the in-laws: they apparently have a 'friendly' contest going to see who can visit the most states. My f-i-l drove up to Oklahoma for the day to cross one off earlier this year. Upon stopping at the Welcome Center, he was asked why he was visiting that day. His reply, "to beat my wife"

Porch sittin'
So what have I been up to this last fortnight? Not too damn much. My movie reviews of late:
Blue Juice - some British guy is living with Catherine Zeta Jones but would rather surf (in England) It was a completely unbelievable movie. Who would piss off your really hot girlfriend like that. He should take advice from Milhouse "Once she sees I'll do anything she says, she's bound to respect me"
Oh, Ewan MacGregor was in it, but I didn't recognize him until the last 15 minutes....maybe if I was paying attention.

Stick It was the much publicized gymnastics movie from the spring. It was watchable but lame and the whole time I felt like the Feds were waiting outside to bust me for renting it.

The Cooler with William H Macy and Dr. Delamico from Er was pretty good. He plays a casino employee whose job is to bring bad luck to people who are winning and how pathetic his life is.

Sadly, that about does it. I'm currently waiting out the Yankee rain delay by watching Flashdance. The boyfriend is now known as Dr. Roberts on the OC, fyi.
I know what you're saying "Flashdance?" with the same intonation as Jim Mora and his 'playoffs' quote. Watching it again, I think it was the whole Manhung song and dance that made me a man, at least it did more than any Bar Mitzvah ever did. Take that, Mr. Nachman!!!
It's nice have theMets & Yankees in the playoffs and that they're expected to go far. I'll have something to watch and read about while Fox delays their quality programming (OC, simpsons, Family Guy, that Woodcock show)
The only drawback is that my movie watching will go down.
This past weekend was pretty uneventful. I finally got around to buying paint for the dresser I came in to in college. I stripped off all the paint back then (99 or 2000) but never got around to repainting it. I got some bland neutral color for it. Hopefully I can still find the hardware that hasn't been on it for over five years.
I feel about about not having blogged since mid-September. I've noticed that several of the blogs I read on a daily basis are on hiatus or have ended all toghether. Now I need to find something else. Does anybody out there have any suggestions? I'm looking for something entertaining but not too serious.
Can someone explain to me how Byung Hung Kim is still pitching? Or is his role the guy you put in when you don't care if you lose, you just dont' want the game to go too late because you have to get out of town or have a day game tomorrow?

For those of you who might ask, yes I am still riding my bike to work most days. I missed a bunch of time in Sept due to a cold and several rainy days, but the last couple of weeks have been great. I'm starting to realize, however, that I should get some lights for when i'm riding in the morning and soon when I ride home, since sunset is getting closer to 6:00, and that's before the end of daylight savings.
Anyways, I'm gonna get shopping (on Amazon, natch) and then get Cara upstairs where she'll hopefully stop snoring. That Benadryl really knocks her out.

ttfn!

Couch Sittin
So it's the weekend and what are we doing? Bubkus.
Last night we went out for a small celebatory dinner because my better half made herself even MORE better. You didn't think she could do that, did you? Me either. We ate at TJ Elliot's on 197 in Bowie. I had the scallops scampi which was quite tasty. Cara got some kind of steak with sauteed peppers, onions, and garlic on top. For dessert, we split an a slice of apple pie a la mode.
We found out that my in-laws contracted on a house in Ft. Worth, so I spent the rest of the evening looking up restaurants in town and signing up for nearly a dozen e-mail lists at said eateries. Cara fell asleep early and I watched a bunch of crap on tv (Jimmy Kimmel show, some show about dogfights on History Channel, etc)
Today I got up early to pay some bills and stuff like that.
Cara and I both got a smile out of her disputing a charge on a new credit card, some kind of fee that we didn't initiate. I LOVE that she's on my side.
We got lunch (my breakfast) at the diner again (not a complaint) where we each got the turkey burger deluxe, mine with swiss. They were delicious.
I spent the rest of the day watching and sleeping through college football. I'm thrilled that UM beat notre dame.
What'd be really nice is if the Mets could beat the Pirates just once, a team they're ahead of by 30 games!
We had some steak for dinner and then Cara went off to a bachelorette party where she'll probably skip out on the line dancing portion of the evening. I can't really blame her, since she doesn't line dance and she doesn't know any of the girls. Still, it's a chance to drink a lot; if it was me, I'd probably take one for the team. However, I haven't heard from her yet, so maybe she got talked into going out with them...
Since I haven't had the chance to ride my bike in over a week, I got back on the treadmill, watching an episode of The Wire. To celebrate, I'm pounding the gin & tonics.
I got out of work early yesterday so I watched Mystery Men via Netflix. It was just plain awful. Ben Stiller just isn't funny and neither is Janine Garofolo. Don't bother wasting your time by watching this movie.
And if you haven't heard, the Booty administration has started in southern California.
tomorrow I plan on watching pro football all day.
Our big plans for the weekend are to go to the new Giant grocery store that opened up yesterday. I'm gonna make two different chili recipes. One is from Men's Health, but I'll let Cara have some if she wants to anyway.
I'll let y'all know how that goes.

ttfn

Porch sittin'
so I went to the new Nautilus Diner this morning with my Better Half and I must say: It's Goooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!

We each had an omelet with coffee. The line was out the door but it moved quickly and the service was great. They even have mints near the register, though they're the not as good ones with the colored goo inside.
I'm thinking about going back tomorrow for lunch, but I shouldn't because we have plenty of stuff here.
We drove out to Falls Church to the house of our next friends to be married (October) where we watched football and ate and drank a lot. I got to watch the Jets while the other tv was showing the Browns/Saints game. The jets looked pretty good although they couldn't run the ball all day which helped lead to the titans coming back in the 4th.
I had a great time sharing a couch with Carlton and his attempts at predicting bad things happening to the Jets and we all made fun of Anne and her coupon-cutting but I think we're all kinda jealous of her discipline.
It looks like I'm going to lose my fantasy game unless Joseph Addai runs for like 4 tds in the last 4 minutes. Oh well, I do have a roster move to make, once yahoo lets me do it. I'll tell you all about it later, I don't want anyone in my league getting him before I do.

Couch Sittin
so it's officially fall, college football all day Saturday, pro all day Sunday followed by new Simpsons and Family Guy. Thankfully, we got our laptop back up and running. For some reason, every so often, we have to disconnect our internet and let everything reset.
The big news in the last month+ is that our AC broke, specifically the condenser. That alone costs $2G to replace. Since our HVAC and water heater are all 12 years old, we decided to go the Full Monty and have all of them replaced, which will be done on Monday. It's $7.5G to get it all done by a local company.
I was sitting home that Tuesday before Labor Day, watching movies, and I didn't really notice that the AC wasn't working. I knew it was warmer during the day but I didn't know by how much.
Luckily, the weather hasn't gotten much over 85 during the day so its been tolerable. I don't mind sweating but not when I don't want to, like when you first sit in a hot car, or just walking around outside.
On the plus side, I get to take a day off from work
and I plan on watching several movies (The commitments, Bachelor party, the Wire 2.3, something on cable) and to finally mow the lawn. I haven't done that in a month, since the day after I last donated blood, sometime in late July.

What else have I done? I just finished the Best August Ever. For the most part, it was pretty Augusty except this time I got to go to a Hog Roast, a Crab Feast, and the Yanks swept a five game series in Boston. I'm sure there was other stuff, but those are the highlights.
The hog roast was at my boyfriend-in-law's grandmother's farm in rural PA. Apparently, this is an annual thing so I will be buying a tent a a two-person sleeping bag for next year. They went through 4.5 kegs!!! I got to eat a piece of tongue, straight out of the mouth. It was a little dry, and Sam agrees that it wasn't as good as it could be. We had to leave early as the in-laws were back in town for the first time in a while and we had to see them.
The following weekend we were invited to Ann & Carlton's crab feast. Since it was our first one, we didn't know to show up right on time. We got there an hour after everyone else and most of the crabs were alredy gone. since I didn't eat too much, and Cara had even less, we went to Urban Barbecue with Brian & megan. Good stuff. Bonus: Jets beat the Redskins that night, too.
Labor Day weekend, although not in August was also good. It rained all day Friday which I don't mind because we don't have AC. I took a half day and we spent the afternoon eating pho and getting ready for our Friends Worthy of Fine China dinner. We had to remove a lot of bar code stickers from pricey dishes. Sam & Annie came down Saturday afternoon and everyone had a good time setting up and watching football. Everything worked out perfectly, we even got to use 3 coupons at Papa Johns on one order!
The next day, we all went up to Hanover as the in-laws were moving to Dallas two days later. Sam informed me in the moring that the annual Chili Cook Off was going on that day and we were both excited to go to that. I ate at least 3 dozen chilis and 4 beers. I also got a t-shirt and a metal chili cup that I can use at other competitions.
Tomorrow we're going to Falls Church for an NFL Opening Day get together. I'm going to my office to pick up my bike (I wasn't feeling well enough to ride home yesterday) and stop by the famer's market.
Big News: The Nautulus Diner on Rt. 3 in Crofton is finally open!!!! We're going tomorrow for breakfast when I'll have an omelet (maybe a western) w/ home fries and toast. I have waited for this day since the winter.
Wow, Tony Stewart is out of the Chase. I know of at least one person and an entire family who are quite despondent right now.
I do have some pictures to post from the Chili cook off and the FWoFC dinner, but they're upstairs and I'm not. Maybe when we get AC again I'll post them.

That's about it for now. I'm going to try to be more postable from now on, especially since our laptop in on-line again, I have no excuse.

ttfn!

Porch sittin'
I finally got our laptop up and working again. It needed a new AC adapter and of course as soon as my eBay transaction went through, Dean came up with the same thing but with a much better price: free.

Can't you tell how thrilled I am that the laptop is working again?

And here are some pictures from Jen's wedding in May:




If Mike and I look trashed, well there's a darn good reason for that.

Mike & Jen were two of my best friends for most of my life and it was great to have seen them both again. It had been way too long.

Wow, I haven't posted anything in a month!! I'm as shocked as you are...not that that means anything. The wife and I spent a week on the west coast with a couple of friends of hers from HS. It was supposed to be part of a 30th birthday celebration for all of us, but now that I think about it, we didn't have one piece of cake! Some celebration. I did get to do this:


I don't mean to brag, but I was able to identify this ride just from seeing the left front headlight. Take that, you black socks and sandals wearing mid-West tourists. Suck it!

I wasn't too keen on touring Hollywood, but I was outnumbered. Finding out that they have a John Wayne airport AND a Bob Hope airport really removed any credibility this town might have had to me. Bob Hope? What about Spielberg International, or Uncle Milty, or even Carmen Electra? I can think of at least 3 people who wouldn't mind taxiing on that landing strip.
We only spent one day in H-wood. I was pleasently surprised to find out that Charro's house has a basketball hoop.
The next day was spent returning one rental car, picking up another (don't ask) and then heading out to Venice Beach and Santa Monica. The beach was pretty nice until some sand got into my sandals. That's when I started getting some blisters on my feet. And the sand was rediculously hot.
Santa Monica was pretty nice, or at least the "Promenade" and the pier were. We didn't see the rest of the town, so who knows hot ghetto that place is?
We left LA early enough on Saturday to have lunch in San Francisco. I was pretty happy because I know how cold it usually is there so I dressed appropriately. The 3 women I was with? not so much. Ha ha.
Although my dreams of eating at Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles were dashed, I did get to eat at In n Out Burger near Ghiradelli Square. I asked the kid behind the counter to make it good, and his suggestion was to add onions. It was ok. I did like that the ingredients were all fresh (allegedly)
We spent the next day at the Jelly Belly factory which was a bit disappointing as they weren't making anything that month, plus, I don't need to eat that many jellybeans. We spent the afternoon sampling wine in Napa Valley and eating lunch. We stopped at this place called Market where I had a tasty prime rib sandwich:


Kim had herself a risotto that she absolutely loved. I think it had mushrooms in it


If I remember correctly, she freakin' loved it. (Does anyone know how I can get the pictures to show up where I have the cursor? It keeps putting the pic at the beginning of the post and I have to cut and paste the rest of the post above it. What a royal pain in the ass)
Anyways, I forgot that I also got this chop salad



If I remember correctly, the wife got some pan-fried chicken w/ mashed potatoes and Heather got a healthy portion of macaroni & cheese. I had a pint of some English sounding porter (whatever is similar to Guiness) but it still managed to taste kind of thin to me. We were all impressed with the little thingy in the can that controlled the foam.

Alright, this room is warm and the picture thing is starting to annoy me.

Ooh, I have a good reason as to why I haven't posted too much recently: apparently the AC adapter to our laptop has crapped out and the battery never lasted long to begin with. One of these days I'll get around to buying another one on Ebay (eBay?)

I found out this weekend that I am about to embark upon the greatest August in my lifetime, and perhaps everybody else's as well. The 2nd weekend of the month, we're headed up to PA as my boyfriend-in-law is hosting a hog roast (pig, to the lay person) Now, I've never been to anything like this and I'm not sure what to expect but I don't know how this can't be one of the top 10 events in my lifetime, up til now.
Then, the week after that, we're going to a crab feast. I've only had crabs one time in my life and found them to be a lot of work for the food, but it was fun and there was plenty of beer involved.
And that, is what leads to the greatest August ever. Previously, the month has only served as a beginning to any Labor Day countdown. Seriously, 31 days of 90-something degree heat with no holidays? Who's idea was that?? Yech.
And so now I'm stuck upstairs with only the MLB all-star game to listen to. I just watched two minutes while calling the wife and I think that is more than I've watched in the last five years combined.
Hmmm, what else is going on? Well, that's all I can think of, for now.
I'll get back to you with the story of the Oregon portion of our vacation and maybe some more pictures, if they don't piss me off too much.

Catching Up
I forgot to mention that we went to my friend Jen's wedding last month. When I was living at home in my early 20's, we were the best of friends. Once I left for YCP, we didn't talk anywhere near as much. I got to take off a Friday and we drove up to Bethlehem, PA, a town that I had driven through many times but never stopped. Apparently, I didn't miss too much.
The ceremony was very Catholic with a mass and everything. My buddy Mike showed up just in time to keep Jen from having second thoughts and walking out the front door "These things never start on time" hehe.
We had a good chuckle at the old couple in front of us to made their own monogrammed handkerchiefs: they wrote a big "A" on it in magic marker.
The reception was in downtown Bethlehem in the historic Hotel Bethlehem. It looks like it'd be a great place for a weekend getaway. Cara is so hot. Plenty of shopping and bars within a couple of blocks of the hotel.
The cocktail hour was nice with the open bar and hors d'oevres. (sp?) Cara was drinking big margaritas on the rocks, Mike was drinking Yuenglings, and I really don't remember what I was drinking. We also had some brie, fruit, crackers, and some kind of stuffed mushroom or stuffed puff pastry.
The dinner was on a once-open terrace that has since been enclosed by windows that made up two of the walls providing a nice view on the main street on one side, and a great view of the local landscape on another. Through the entrance to the terrace, we could watch some local high schoolers attending their prom.
We sat with Mike and his date/girlfriend Ale, an old friend Meredith and her fiancee, and some 'fabulous' guy who works with Jen. The women at our table were all smitten with this guy, not surprisingly. He must've talked for 10 minutes about the cigarette holder he bought.
Dinner was very nice. The buffet consisted of a pasta table where I had some penne with a garlic alfredo-type sauce and you could choose from a few throw-ins such as mushrooms, minced garlic, and bell peppers.
The next table had roast turkey and prime rib with mustard, horseradish, and some unnoteworthy sauce. Finally, and much to Cara's delight, they had a mashed potato station with various fixin's like bacon, chives, cheese, and roasted garlic. The only drawback was that the attention to each individual's order slowed down the line as there was only one mashed potato engineer working.
Dessert, natually, was wedding cake. Afterward they brought out a small tray of cold anti pasti. I had some pepperoni, olives, and some other stuff. We had a good laugh at Mike's expense. he spent nearly 5 minutes talking about how good he is at handling hot/spicy foods. he had one pepper and it caused him to cough, hiccup, and start sweating a bit. He couldn't finish anything else.
I did make his day at last call when I got him two more beers and a double scotch on the rocks for myself.
Somehow I managed to drive back to my folks place that night. We had tickets to the yankees-A's game that afternoon at the Stadium. We got there just in time for the overcast clouds to break and the sun came out. As a bonus, it was cap day!
We were lucky enough to see the last appearance for the year of Tanyon Sturtze. it's really something to hear 50,000+ people groan in unison.
After the game we headed up to Westchester to pick up my grandmother and we all went out for dinner as a birthday bash celebration for Cara and myself. We had a huge Italian dinner.
the following day, we started our drive home with a detour into central PA to wish Cara's mom a happy Mother's Day. It was a welcome surprise to her and it really made her day.
it was a tiring, yet very fun and satisfying weekend.
I had a great time seeing Mike and Jen. I don't think I'd seen my parents since Thanksgiving, and these days it's always great to see Oma.
On an unrelated note, I have to go to work tomorrow, but Cara has the day off. I'm going to drive so that I can come home for lunch to watch the US-Czech Republic soccer game and eat some more leftovers from Maggiano's.
That's all for now.

Porch sittin'

Man, has it been over a month since I last posted? I haven't completely forgotten about this blog, only when I've been near a computer. Let's recap:
My 30th birthday was a month and a half ago. I haven't really been bothered by the age, I kind of like knowing my auto insurance might go down.
My better wife threw a very nice surprise party for me, inviting several friends of ours and our spouses and their significant others. I knew she was up to something but I just figured it was dinner or something. Who knew she'd have everyone drive all the way up to Germantown just to go bowling. (Of course, she did drive all the way to PA twice a year to see a dentist for years; I guess I should have known)
I can't really remember the last birthday party thrown in my honor except for when Tu got me loaded at Murph's in york. I think that was in 2000.
Anyways, my brother and his wife were in town for the weekend from Brooklyn so naturally we spent all of Saturday watching the NFL draft. Eventually we went to downtown Annapolis for dinner to have a good yet underwhelming dinner a couple of blocks from the Academy.
They got me a bottle of single malt scotch that I haven't had enough of. It's pretty good, though I don't know how good it is compared to other single malts.
One thing that I have been meaning to blog about is that last year at passover, just before my 29th birthday, my aunt was nice enough to tell me that the body starts falling apart at 30. When i was 29 I had several migraines that resulted in me throwing up, I dislocated my shoulder again playing touch football (I didn't even touch anyone on that play) and I also got strep (who gets strep anymore??) with a fever of 103.
For those of you who are curious, this is what my

aunt

looks like:
(alright, I don't remember how to post a picture, but I'll do it once I figure it out.)
What else is new? I started biking to work a few weeks ago. It's about 8 or 9 miles and takes me no more than 45 minutes. I shower when I get to work and get to park in the garage every time (at the bike rack) so far it's only been real hot one day (mid-90's) so I guess I've been lucky. I brought my ride in for a tune up over Memorial Day weekend. Seems like since then, the shifting hasn't been as smooth as before. One day I'll get around to bringing it back, or maybe messing with it myself. It's great exercise, and I'm saving mileage on my car. The only problem is if I have to run an errand at lunch time. There arem't many places near my office at all, and I don't wanna break a big sweat and then have to be around people for the rest of the day...though I guess it'd be their problem to deal with.
movies I've watched recently: Mumford: ok, unspectacular with only a few people you've heard of in small roles
I finished the last season of Six Feet Under. I think I'm going to remember the final montage for a while.
Debs: VERY entertaining.
Hitch: not bad, whatshisname from King of Queens made the whole movie.
Melinda & melinda: pretty good, I seem to always enjoy Woody allen movies
Tin Men: I got it on advice from a co-worker. It did nothing for me
Love Stinks: very amusing if you can handle 90 minutes of that weird guy from 3rd Rock from the Sun.
Last picture Show: a classic that wasn't bad but I probably didn't give it enough attention.

We're leaving for LA on Wednesday. Cara and I are meeting two of her high school friends as part of a 30th birthday bash. We'll be in Hollywood til Saturday morning when we'll head north via rental car to San Francisco. Sunday we'll be in Napa to see a winery or seven and maybe see an olive oilery. From there we head to Ashland in southern Oregon for a day before ending in Portland where one of the girls lives. As far as I'm concerned, I'm only along for arm candy and lifting heavy things. I will try to stay out of the way exept to suggest place to eat. I think we have reservations at the Stinking Rose, where everything has garlic. I'd really like to try that chicken and Waffles chain, In n Out Burger, and maybe Fat Burger, too.
Also, my friend Stef from college lives out there somewhere so hopefully we'll get to see her at some point. I think I last saw her 5 years ago when I lived in Olney and my gerbils were still alive.
I think that's enough for now. Let that sink in and I'll get back to you.

Yo Fuzz! Where you been at??
'
Well, I'll tell you:
I've been around. I went for a nice 1.5 hr bike ride last week and twice jogged around the block (longer than you think)
also, my birthday was a week and a half ago. My brother and his wife came to town as well as my sister and boyfriend in law.
My better half had set up a surprise bowling party for me. I knew she had something planned, but I never thought she'd patronize the bowling arts. I think everyone had a great time.
The next day we sat around for hours watching the NFL draft. I'm pretty happy with the Jets picks. We went to Annapolis for dinner. I'had some seafood pasta thingy that was pretty good.
Last weekend we got together with our Romanian couple friends for dinner at Benihana. I believe we all had a good time there.
I also got a chance to prune the trees in the back so that I can walk under the branches and I got to the shrub on the side of the house too. I should post more about the goings on outside of our house. Maybe someone out there can advise me on what's going on out there.
We also all had a good time at our friend Megan's birthday happy hour yesterday too. Seems like I jam-packed of good times.
I'm excited about this weekend. My early 20's best friend Jen is getting married on Friday in Bethlehem, PA. I haven't seen her or my other buddy Mike in years.
Saturday we're going to the Yankees-A's game with my folks and brother and sisterinlaw. I haven't been to the stadium in years either. Afterwards, we're headed up to Ossining to see my 100 year old grandmother. I feel bad that I don't get to see her so much.
Then on Sunday we're headed back into PA to see my motherinlaw. Sometime we're going to do some laundry and maybe mow the lawn.
I guess I should tell my boss that I'm not going to be there on Friday, eh?

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People are always wondering how life is different after you get married. Well, for me it wasn't that big of a change. We had lived together for 3 years so that wasn't a big adjustment for us. I think the hardest thing to do was remember that she is now "my wife" and no longer "my girlfriend" or "my fiancee".
As far as I can tell, the only way that I've changed is that since I got married I seem to have lost a portion of my fashion sense.
I used to be able to figure out what went with what and dressed with some flash. It's how I bagged my wife (so she says) Now I can't even figure out what goes with black slacks.
On the plus side, I don't care as much. I'm not trying to impress anyone at work and I come right home and change into exercizing clothes.
Maybe this downturn coincides with my increase in Old Navy purchases....

What It's Like to Be A Man

Last year, during some of the warmer months, I was weed whacking the yard while wearing shorts. Naturally, something small came flying at me and hit my leg drawing some blood. It took longer than I thought it should have for it to heal and I didn't even play with the wound!
Needless to say, last night I was right back out there with the weed whacker and shorts, tempting fate. Somehow, my skin is still intact.

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so last night I finally got around to watching Cider House Rules with the kid from Spiderman & Pleasantville and that blonde from...uh...something. charlize? Is that a name or a verb?
It also stars Delroy Lindo who I think is always pretty good and I think kinda looks like my friend Derek, except much older.
Spiderman is raised as an orphan and unwillingly apprentices as an abortion doctor. He eventually leaves with charlize and her husband to work on the husband's parent's orchard. The husband eventually ships off to WWII and Spidey and charlize hook up and then the ol' Webslinger has to abort a fetus in Delroy's daughter that was fertilized by him. some people die (fairly willingly) and then Spidey returns to the orphanage and takes over for the doctor who trained him to begin with.
This movie did absolutely nothing for me. There were no reall surprises in the plot. If I grew up in an orphanage in Maine and I finally decided to leave, I wouldn't work on an orchard in the same state and then go back to the same orphanage. I'd head south to see what this whole bikini thing is all about. They got apples down there too!

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Over the 20 or so years that I have been listening to rock, I've mostly listened to bands that were well-established by the time I found out about them. I found the Stones in '89, a good 25 years after they started. I found the Ramones in the early 90's, 15 years too late. This trend goes on for most of the music I listen to.
I've been lucky enough to see the Stones and the Ramones 3 times each.
Another favorite band of mine, Black Crowes I was able to discover when they first came out, in 1990-ish. I caught them once at Horde Fest at Waterloo village in NJ, once at Dickinson College, and a week after that in NYC. After they got Yoko'ed a few years ago, I figured I was all done with them, until this past September. I happened to hear on the radio that they were coming to town the following month to the 9:30 Club. Somehow we were able to get tickets. I was surprised because they have a huge following and hadn't toured in years. It wass a pretty good show, at least the first set was. I missed the second set because some nameless person apparently is a lot older than me and wanted to go home. So I did.
I'm still happy that I was able to see them one last time (probably) because in the future I'll probably deem myself too old to go.
Back in 1994 (or so) the fantastic movie Clueless with Alicia Silverstone came out. featured on the soundtrack was this never heard of band called the Smoking Popes. i loved their rock sound and crooner-esque singing. all of their songs are about having a girlfriend, wanting one, or losing one; very apro pos for me at the time. They were always a fairly local band from Chicago and in those pre-internet days, it was nearly impossible to learn anything about them. They broke up several years ago so the singer could join a Christian rock band...or something like that. I never thought they would reunite, only bands guaranteed a huge payday do that.
Until a few months ago when I was convalescing (sp?) from strep, my better half saw in the paper that they were playing in DC later that week! In fact, it was at the same club where I saw the Ramones play about 10 years ago (I think it was the show where I came home with a footprint on my face)
We got the tix for like $15 (nearly doubled with service charges) The show was awesome. It was very not-crowded and a good portion of the crowd apparently was following the band from one town to another. I also learned that the guitar player, Eli looked just like a hobo version of Food Network's Alton Brown.
After the show, we picked up a t-shirt and their new cd/dvd of their reunion show in Chicago that was recorded in the fall. After that, we were able to talk with Eli and the singer, Josh. We missed out on the bass player, leather pants and all.
Thanks to seeing that show, I've been able to now see all of the bands that I've been a big fan of: Rolling Stones, Ramones, Styx, Weird Al, Donnas, Living Things, Black Crowes, Smoking Popes...even parliament Funkadelic, Bloodhound Gang, and Joan Osbourn before I knew how much she rocked (One of Us notwithstanding) all bands who I kinda like.
I still can't believe that 2 bands who i've liked for a nearly a combined 30 years who hadn't been heard from in years came out of nowhere to play right here in DC and I was able to go see them!
If it came down to it, I could happily retire from my concert going career and be completely satisfied. Now, if I could figure out a way to make some home-made Kahlua, that might change.

out.

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So, for any of you who watch the OC, I have some thoughts:

Somehow, all the Cohen men (ryan included) all got real dumb.
I'm not sure what's going on with Sandy, but he somehow upset his wife who, for her age, is quite attractice. you never want to upset attractive women, especially one you're married to.
Ryan flew all the way out to Alberqurque (sp??) to invite his mother to his graduation. he first mentioned it to her, but then backed off. That made no sense to me. Apparently it didn't make sense to Ryan either as he later re-invited her. On the plus side, he did manage to hook up with the hotttest diner waitress ever only a couple of hours after meeting her. And she wasn't drunk, either!
Seth is the biggest dumbass out of anybody on the show ever. His girlfriend, the incomparable Summer Roberts applied to Brown U just to be near him. She got it, he didn't. Instead of her turning down the offer so she can be with him at not Brown, he breaks up with her so she can go without him. Eventually she pushes her chips to the middle of the table and asks if he stopped loving her. He says that he did, just to keep up his ruse of not admitting that he didn't get in.
If you ask me, Summer Roberts is this generation's blonde whatshername from Charlie's Angels...you know, the one with the poster. Any guy should know that if you just told her that you didn't get in to Brown, that she'd be fine with it and they'd all work something out.
I can't believe what Seth has done to himself. However, it does leave him vulnerable to a power play from Taylor Townsend who was digging him pretty hard when she first came on the show.
apparently next week is the return of Anna, the blonde punk from Pittsburgh. She wasn't so bad herself, if I may say so (Cara, may I?)
for some reason though, she grew her hair out and from what I saw, it just looked bad.
Anyways, that's all I have to say about that.

what else is going on? Our old vacuum got it's last rights last weekend so we've been shopping for a new one. Looks like we're going with a Hoover upright. From what I've read, none of these things really last more than 5 years. yech.
I've officially decided that I don't really like the band X. I like their version of "Wild Thing" but probably mostly because it was featured in the classic movie, Major League, one of the top 5 best sports movies ever, along with Happy Gilmore and 3 yet unnamed others.
have you heard of the All Male Genetalia pitching rotation?
1st, Chien Mien Wang from the Yankees
2nd YA Dickey (something like that) from some team.
3rd some new guy named Putz (Yiddish for dick)
there are more than those, but I can't remember their names. They'll come to me. I'll update when i can.

My Netfilx viewership has declined sharply over the last month. I watched The Upside of Anger last week. I don't get why kevin Costner always has to play some kind of baseball player. I thought the whole purpose of acting was to pretend to be different people.

The Mets are probably much better off with Carlos Delgado at 1B, but Mike Jacobs is looking pretty good. Maybe they'll trade for him in a couple of years when delgado's contract is up and Jacobs has gotten more games under his belt.

What are the odds that Victor Zambrano pitched a better game that the Zambrano on the Cubs?

Lawn mowing season is upon us. I saw a couple of people doing it today, I'll mow this weekend sometime. I also plan on finally getting up on my bike and going for a ride. I've been saying it for weeks but it's been rainy or lazy out.

That's all I got for now. I'm sure if my better half was awake, she'd be asking when I would be coming upstairs

Quote of the day: "See, Billy Idol gets it, I don't know why she doesn't."
-Wedding Singer (but you knew that already)

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Maybe it's just me, but it seems like no one knows the grammatical difference between 'effect' and 'affect'.
My opinion? If the definitions are so similar, why don't they just delete on of the words from the English language (as opposed to Spanish, in case you got confused)
Another word to be abolished? stationery (the paper one) Nobody uses it anyway and it'll save that much money from elementary schools' budgets from saving on all the red ink the teachers use.

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So we have this couch in our family room on which I have taken more than my share of naps. Now I'm thinking that I might sleep better on it than in our bed.
Case in point: Saturday night I was suffering through the usual congested related problems: not being able to breathe, and well that's about it. It's a good one, no?
So I got out of bed 'round 6:30 out of frustration, and to let Cara sleep some more since she was going to work most of the day.
I come downstairs, lay on the couch, and proceed to sleep for like 3 solid hours. very nice. It probably saved my Sunday.
Then today I come home, quite tired, and without really trying, I sleep from 7 to 9:30!!!
bonus: Upon awakening, it feels like my cold is finally in remission. (I say remission because the way this year is going, it'll come back in a month)

out.

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My prediction: Mason's win over UConn yesterday will be the biggest win in the history of that building (MCI/Verizon Center). None of the three teams that play there regularly will ever win anything that big.

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So what have I been up to?
Somehow, I went and got myself kinda sick again, being congested since Wednesday. It's been like twice a month in 2006 that I've gotten some kind of bug. Before my company switched from endlessly accruing sick days to only getting six per year, I've come down with something like five times. Last year? Maybe twice.
I really don't get it, I eat well, I get exercise, I routinely get at least 7 hours of sleep per night, I don't live in squalor....maybe this house we bought is one of those poisonous houses, like my mom's was known as a vomitorium for a while a few years ago (four people who slept downstairs wound up getting pretty sick (naturally, two of the times, it was me)).
We had a little delay in having carpet installed in our two downstairs bedrooms so everything we kept in them is still piled unceremoniously in our living room. One of those things is our treadmill. It had been warm enough to go jogging in shorts last week, but this week it had been cooler and then I got sick.
I finally got some exercise today by pruning some branches off a tree in the backyard that had been affected by the snow we got last month. Some of the branches were pointed down and were actually touching the ground. Sensing this would cause a problem for me when I fertilize and mow, I cut off a bunch of them. And since I read that it was supposed to rain today, I figured it'd be a good time to put down the springtime fertilizer, so I did. Naturally, it hasn't rained yet and it probably won't until I try putting out the sprinkler. Then it'll rain.
Get this: Soul Train is still on tv.

Anyways, I saw that ChemLawn is offering to give a free review of your lawn. I took them up on it and found out that we have Kentucky Bluegrass and 2 kinds of Zoysia (or something like that) we got some crabgrass, dandelions and a few other weeds, and we got thatch. That means I get to aerate the lawn in the fall. I'm looking forward to that. I also have to put down some lime which I'm also looking forward to, but not as much.
tomorrow I plan on maxing and relaxing, doing some laundry (all of it, really), watching the race at Bristol, and the two basketball games. I'll probably fit in a nap somewhere too.
Oh, the Mr. Steve Martin episode of SNL is on again tonight. Just in case, I'm much more sober than the first time it was on, and I'm taping it on my dvr.
That's about it, I can't think of anything else to blog about...for now.

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So we're almost done with the NCAA tourney (5 games left) and I'm slowly yet steadily plummeting down the standings of my pool.
Some observations:
Is there a new trend where the team that beats duke automatically gets into the Final 4? LSU is in this year, Indiana did it in 2002, and I'm thinking Michigan St. did it last year. Frankly, I can really get behind this trend. Teams should be rewarded for ousting the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.
Also, I didn't notice it so much this weekend, probably because the games were so much closer, but it seemed to me that in every game last weekend when one team was losing by less than 10 and had the ball with less than a minute left, one of the announcers would complain that said losing team doesn't need to take a three point shot. They would never say when that team DOES need to take a 3, though. I'm still curious, when do they need to take it? Perhaps I'll never know.
Finally, we've all heard about George Mason's Tony Skin who was suspended from their first round game vs. Michigan St. for punching a guy in the CAA tourney in the nads. All during the MSU game, the announcers were hoping that GMU would win to continue Skin's career. Since when is it ok to blatently bunch a guy in the 'nads and have the whole country routing for your team? And suspended for only one game? Obviously, the coach figured they wouldn't win a game in the NCAAs so the length of the suspension wouldn't matter. I guess we all showed him, huh? Don't you think that if this had happened at the high school level, Skin would've been kicked off the team, thus assuring that we'd only hear about Tony Skin in the porno industry?

That's it for my basketball thoughts for now.

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Question of the day: Why does CBS keep showing the wives of the coaches in the last 5 minutes of the games?
We all know that they will be fairly attractive, wearing something in the color of whichever school their husband coaches at, and they will be cheering half-heartedly, like they're looking around to see if they should be cheering or not.
It was particulary noticeable during the Illinois-Washington game when they kept showing Washington's coach's wife. After every possession in the last 4 minutes, there she was, quietly clapping and looking around the crowd. My only guess is because she resembles RuPaul without the dress and makeup and the cameraman couldn't believe the resemblance.

Also, I usually detest Appleby's Restaurant but their new commericial has me appreciating them a bit. Although it's been shown ad naseum (at?) during every timeout, you can't help but wonder who would let the first verse of the commercial's song be something like "grab a piece of tail".

Finally, after watching UCLA for a few minutes, I can't help but think: "Whatever happened to Toby Bailey?" I think he was a freshman on the 1995 championship team and played well. There was another kid, I think named Henderson, first name was two initials.
My first guess is that they're playing in Israel, alongside ex-Terp John Gilchrist.

I'd like to take this time to propose a toast. Grab your drinks and raise them high and let's celebrate the end of the Travis Garrison era at Maryland. He came from high school as a McDonald's All-American and played significant minutes in his first two years. Since then, it's become apparent that he still needs more time to grow into his body. He's listed at 6'8" and has to be around 240, pretty big for college. Unfortunately, he didn't play that big, consistently not posting up, taking perimeter shots, and making really dumb fouls. Not only were they really dumb, but more often than not, they didn't prevent the guy with the ball from making the shot.
In this, his senior year, he started less than 10 games, rarely played more than 20 minutes. and only dominated the likes of Delaware State and Hampton.
Unfortunately, Nick Caner-Medley also just played his last game. Although he wasn't as consistent as he probably should have been, he seemed to be the only guy in Maryland's senior class who seemed to care about the game.
And Sterling Ledbetter? We hardly knew ye.
I'm looking forward to next season when UMD finally gets a bona fide point guard and everybody can move back to their natural positiion (see: DJ Strawberry) And hopefully they won't lose somebody mid-season like they have the last few years: Chris McCray, Strawberry, Gilchrist (mentally), Hasan Fofana, and Andre Collins.

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Quote of the day, courtesy of my mother-in-law: "I wish Elton John wasn't gay."

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Question of the Day: For any sign that says "No Dumping" (albeitly inherently funny) does that include tree branches?

I was 'delivering' some fallen branches to this park in my neighborhood mostly because I had seen that plenty of other people had done the same thing, and I figured 'It's all trees and trees=nature, right?'
One woman who lives across the street from the "park" said that her husband does it all the time, but some soccermom and her ancient parents took offense to me leaving more nature in this "park".
I quote the park because there is no big field, or picnic tables, or anything parky like that, it's mostly just a lot of trees with a dirt path that seperates our neighborhood from State Rt. 3 and something that resembles a river.
I wonder if I can contact the Social Security people and instruct them to make sure that none of my "contributions" are directed to these people.....
The old guy even took some pictures of me and my car/license plate. Frankly, I'm just surprised that someone over the age of 60 knows how to use something like a digital camera.
So what do you think? Does "dumping" include branches and other nature, or only man-made trash?

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So there's an article in today's Washington Post about Romania's quest to join the EU. It talks about how the country will have to mordernize their way of life to get admittance into this union. Apparently, they still rely on horses for transportation

In the print edition is the picture of a sheep that is all white, except for the ears, nose, eyes, and lips. Those features are all black. It looks like something else they'll have to give up is goth sheep like the one in the picture.
Unfortunately, I can't find a copy of the picture. My description doesn't come close to doing it justice.

More importantly, time for new Sopranos!

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I watched the movie Rush Hour today. It is one of the more predictable movies I've ever seen, but it was still fairly entertaining.
What else have I watched recently?
Way of the Gun: Another movie where the Netflix description got me hooked. Very disappointing.

That's about it.

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Last weekend I think I only left the house to go out for food. Very relaxing, but it felt very wasteful to me.
I was pretty happy with this week. Since we somehow moved south of the Tropic of Cancer (or Capricorn, whichever one is northernmost...I forget which one it is) it's been over 60 degrees for the last few days, and it's mid-March!!!! I don't mind weather this pleasant, but I do mind it when it's not supposed to be going on. It's supposed to be cold, jacket-worthy weather.
Anyways, it has been nice enough for us to leave the windows open for a few days to de-stink the house, and I went jogging for the first time since September (just before I dislocated my shoulder (again) for those keeping score at home). Since it was fairly cool, I went further than I was expecting, but not even half as far as I was able to last year. I'm looking forward to jogging through LA, SF, and Oregon when we're there in April, or June, or whenever it is. I think June.
Also, we're signing up to run another charitable 5K this year, and I'd like to run the whole thing, or at least not be as sore as I was last year (I could barely move for 3 days)
Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the busy weekend:
Friday night we went out to Tia's, pretty good as usual. Afterwards, we went to Home Depot to put in an order for carpet for the two bedrooms downstairs. FYI: we're now referring to the small bedroom downstairs as the basement. We don't have an actual basement under the house and that's what the room has served as since we moved in. Canned food, treadmill, plenty of other stuff what we never use.
Anyhoo, it took us a while to get help at Home Depot as there was only one guy in the flooring area. All we could do was wait, so we did.
Once we got home, we finished emptying out the two rooms, then started taping it up with perhaps the biggest rip off in home improvement: blue masking tape. It goes for $6, doesn't work great, and has gotten me to actually doubt if the regular masking tape would work. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It's f'ing tape!!!
We wound up staying up past 1am, rarely seen territory for us these days.
Saturday morning, I got up, still tired, and went for another jog. Then I ran some errands which included: me paying to pick up some dry cleaning, but then leaving the clothes at the cleaners, buying some mousetraps (see www.myspace.com/blurfish), buying a new air filter for the lawn mower (does anyone have a torque wrench I can borrow? I apparently need it to get the blade off the mower so I can get it sharpened), then picked up some chinese for lunch.
Once lunch was over, the better half and I got to painting. We listened to my new punk compilation which is quite good. We got the first coat on, then broke for snacks and naps.
Maybe it's just me, but it seems like Home Depot paint always requires a second coat. Maybe it's our technique, but maybe it's a way for HD to increase revenues.
Like I was saying, we eventually finished the second coat around 8. It looks pretty good, fyi. It's a light green, like you see in a catalog from some company that sells overpriced furniture or bed sheets.
Cara insisted that we get pizza, which was plenty fine with me, except I couldn't decide what toppings to get. I left it up to her with splendiforous results. She got me The Works. I never get that for myself because I wouldn't pay for it even though I absolutely eat everything that has ever been on a pizza. I could barely stay awake to finish. I think I fell asleep around 10:30.
Today i pretty much did nothing, and it was nice. I did finally get around to Armor-Alling my car, which I'd been meaning to do since I got it, nearly 2 years ago. It also gave me a chance to close the window I left open to air out the car since it was supposed to rain tonight.
Tonight we had a tasty dinner at Chipotle where I was witness to a black guy wearing a Pau Gasol jersey. How often to you see a black guy wearing the jersey of a white guy, let alone a European?
One thing I didn't do this weekend? Shower. Oh yeah, good times.

Yo Mama so fat, she puts mayo on her aspirin

One thing I forgot to mention: when I was at the doctor's on Thursday and she was telling me that I have strep, she said that there's an outside chance that it's mono, which of course let me to think of one of my favorite lines from Wayne's World: " I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored."
Makes me laugh every time.

Let's be honest here: We all know that for most people, being put onto a feeding tube in a hospital isn't a good thing. My question is this: How many of you out there think that outside of the failing health thing, having your food put into your body via a feed tube doesn't sound like such a bad deal?
I've been laid up with strep throat since Sunday afternoon. Yesterday was my first fever-free day since Saturday. I've taken some kind of pill every day since last Sunday, when we got that half-foot of snow that gave me a cold.
Now I'm on an anti-biotic of some kind and I actually feel like eating, but even microwaving a tv dinner feels like too much effort. Plus, the chicken alfredo thing I ate a couple of hours ago smelled pretty bad. (It tasted ok)
So what am I trying to say? Eating dinner tonight via tube sounds like a pretty good idea.


Why is it so rare for an NBA GM to get fired? We all know the Steve Francis trade the Knicks made this week is a bad deal, but do we have to put up with Isiah for 2 more years like we did with "Fire" Layden? I'm thinking of officially putting my Knicks fan membership on hiatus until Isiah is gone. I guess I'm ok with the team willingly spending 2 or 3 times the league's salary cap, but they're not getting anyone who is worth anything near their salary.
When will they trade Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps? I'm pretty sure Hideki Irabu is still available, too.

Maybe it's just me, but it feels like I haven't written anything in a while. There's a good reason for that: I haven't really done anything noteworthy, nor have I thought of anything so stupendous that I had to blog it.

Sorry.

One question that will never be answered: Which came first, shell-don williams, or Ken Griffey Jr. with gigantism?

Frankly, I really don't care who did what to who. Ken Griffey Jr. with gigantism is much funnier than the soon-to-be-next-first-round-draft-bust, shell-don williams.
("It's like there's a party in my mouth, and everybody's invited!")

So I was at the game today. I wasn't expecting much of a game, and it really wasn't. It was a 3 possession game most of the time. However, it was still a great time just reading all of the signs that the oh so clever students came up with:

What's JJ Redick's favorite foul? the back door violation (so inventive were these students, that when security tried to confiscate it, they just passed it down the row to some other students)

Our (Gary) Williams is better than your (shell-don) Williams

Coach K is a piece of Krzit. (There's no way a name spelled like is actually pronounced like everyone thinks it is.)

Of course there were several others that I either couldn't read or weren't funny. F them.

In attendance: Cal ripken jr, the guy who owns the ravens, lefty driesell, Wilbon and Kornholser (wearing a cap, like no one knows how bald he is) the Sportscenter anchor who went to UMD, and Mike Grinnon.

My morning commute, on average, is slowed to a crawl 1.5 days a week. It's an easy drive, 10 miles total, most of which is on an interstate. There's one exit and a merge, it should be smooth sailing, right?

Wrong.

Half of those 1.5 days that I'm stuck rolling along at 20mph, it's because some schmuck pulled over (or got pulled over) and now everyone has to look to see what's going on. In most circles, this is called rubbernecking. It's something else that everyone complains about, no one admits to, and nobody does anything about it.
My answer: you know how ERs have those curtains for privacy so that not everyone has to be subjected to viewing massive head wounds? Every DOT with a highway should set up those same curtains along each shoulder. Put duckies and bunnies on them for aesthetics. (They already have those walls up, these are just closer to the road and softer)

Just the fact that rubbernecking is socially acceptable is nuts. What are people looking for, intestines strewn about the highway? Spare change? I'm pretty sure they're not looking to see how that car held up in a crash, which of course would be the best reason to look at an accident when you're flying by at 70+mph.

You people make me sick. Maybe I'll pull off to hurl later this week, you all can slow down to watch.

Why radio sucks: 94.7 is playing the best of 1972 today. For the last hour+, they've been playing the Stones Hot Rocks, a compilation of the stuff they did from 63-71. The album was released by their manager w/out their consent (or something like that).
I really don't think they should be mentioning this album. Don't you think they played Paint It, Black when they covered '66 last week???
And Exile on Main St. came out in '72. Why don't you play that?

Wasting 2 hours of airtime on a compilation? Surely there was something worthwhile that was released in '72.

This radio station is featuring a different year in rock a day. Today is 1972, meaning Thursday they're doing 1974!!

"...Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact." - Homer.

2/28: Free short stack at IHOP: fyi

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Mr. Steve Martin hosting Saturday Night Live: Is there anything better on tv? Me thinks not.

A teddy bear holding a heart? He really put a lot of thought into that gift....

(fyi: I'm pretty toasted right now, niiiicely toasted) (yet I can still spell. sweet)

Quote of the Day: Scene: bedroom, hetero girl is about to 'get it on' with a gay guy:
Girl: I don't take it in the ass.
Guy: That makes one of us.

Pet Peeves: This is something I plan on writing about whenever I can think of one to add.

1. People who use the same words or phrases over and over again. "Whatnot" has been a big one for me for years. Last year some guy called into my morning radio show, Elliot in the Morning and used the phrase "...this, that, and the other" more than once a minute for the duration of his call. I work with a guy who prefaces every opinionated statement with "Well, my thing is (insert statement here)"
I would hope that people would realize there there are like a Brazillion other words in the dictionary that, in various combinations, work as a perfectly good substitute for their phrasical crutch as well as the one that they tend to use.
It's called THINKING people!!!

Quote of the day: "I'm like electricity, I always follow the path of least resistance"

-Yours truly.

Question of the day: We all know there are generally two types of men: those who wash/rinse their hands after going #1, and those who don't. And we all know that it's socially acceptable to make fun of those who don't.
Today I came across someone trying to break down the "glass ceiling" of bathroom handwashing. He didn't go near clean running water, but he did wipe his hands with a paper towel when he was done.
What are we supposed to make of this? Is that acceptable? Is it just the same as not washing? Or is this a whole new class of hygenically impared people? (and if so, do they get their own parking spaces)

"Let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen"

So my weekend was pretty average. We went to Glory Days Friday night for dinner. You know it's a slow night when the sports bar is showing Scooby Doo and some political talk show
"Camus can do, but Saartre is Smaartre"
"Scooby Doo can doo doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter."

Saturday, the better half and I brought her car to the dealership to have a headlight replaced. i tried to replace it, but I think I would have to take the battery out to see what I'm doing. Luckily, it was only $12, though you'd think it would be covered by the warranty....
Anyhoo, I brought her in to work (sucker) then ran some errands. I took some time to catch the UMD game from Will Bowers's hometown. Unfortunately, UMD really stunk it up.
If there's a guy who played plenty minutes as a freshman, don't you think he'd either be starting as a senior or coming off the bench to give Sean Kemp (the young one, not the fat one) some rest?? UMD's championship team in '02 might have won the final 4, but this year's class beats them in arrests.
Anyway, I digress.
Eventually, I picked up Cara from work and we walked down to Penn Ave to eat at Elephant & Castle. It was fairly tasty and had a pint of Boddington's. Hadn't had that in a long time. Then we came home and didn't binge drink. It was like the first time in a month.
today was a trip to Costco, the butcher and the grocery store.
I finally made use of the pressure cooker that my better half gave me for my birthday two years ago. I made this chili recipe courtesy Alton Brown & Good Eats. It was ok. I wound up only using beef, no pork or lamb.
I'm sure you'll all be happy to know that the pressure cooker didn't blow up. I think tomorrow I'm gonna make Alton's beef broth
But, the whole reason I'm writing tonight is this: During the Simpsons tonight, there was a background voice that was saying what the characters were doing. It's like a vocal closed captioning. We talked to two other people and their tvs were normal. Has this ever happened to you? It was only that show, not the ones before or after, though they suck so much, who would know?
Dang, my brother just called and now I've lost all train of thought.
I'm still trying to figure out how to get these links to work. Any ideas?

this clip is incredible.
Click on the "JJ Creating space" link

I'm not sure what I like most:
the elbow
the other guy's reaction
the non-acknowledgement by the announcers

Gotta love the low-angle camera shot, too.
At least it was only an elbow and not a full grab, which is what you'd expect from someone in that uniform (especially him)

Porch sittin' What are the odds that Sean Taylor from the Redskins will pull a Last Boy Scout in the next year or so?

Porch sittin'

Outside of "Clueless", can someone tell me why this bitch keeps getting work?

Julius Peppers, currently a defensive end for the Carolina Panthers is so ugly, there should be a law to force him to wear a football helmet any time he leaves his house. I had to endure 4 yeas of his playing basketball at UNC! Yech.

http://www.panthers.com/team/teamRosterDetails.jsp?id=894

Porch sittin' For those of you who know me well, you know that I have a sizeable collection of take-out menus. I put together a spreadsheet to track them all. Would anybody out there know how I can provide a link (or some other access) so that you guys can look at it? I also have a catalog of all of my cds, dvds, and so forth that I'd like to share.
Cara once suggested that I maybe scan in the menus so that y'all can look at them as a .pdf or something like that.
Or you can tell me to go f myself, nobody wants to see that, what the hell do I care?

Porch sittin'
Has anybody noticed how long store receipts are getting? Best Buy and Home Depot are the two worst stores at this. Last year I bought some batteries from BB with cash and my receipt was over one foot long!!
Home Depot seems to have some contest that's been going on for 2 years on their receipts.
Aren't these the same companies that make a big deal about how environmentally responsible they are? F them.
I've started tearing off the unnecessary part of the receipt and leaving it somewhere in the store, either at the register or on the ground somewhere. Maybe the minimum wage kid who has to pick them up will complain and management will stop with these mini-toilet paper rolls.
I say we band together and start showing our disdain for these super-sized receipts by tearing off the bottom of the receipts and leaving them in the store. Hoorah!

(I probably could have worded this better, but I'm more of a complainer than a motivator, deal with it)

Yo mamma so ugly, she only been married once.

T-shirt of the day:
Grass, ass, or gas, nobody rides for free

Thought of the day, er, evening: If you go to a bar, run up a huge tab, get into a fight with someone, and then get carted off, whether by ambulance or bouncer, do you still have to settle the bill?

Porch sittin'
Remember that door I locked? Well there's a wee little hole on the flange and I figured that an end of a wire hanger would fit perfectly in there, and I WAS RIGHT!!!! Not only that, but doing that unlocked the godforsaken door!! If I had a happy dance, this is probably what it would look like: (see above)

I did the same thing last night when I figured out how to get the stopper thingy out of the drain in the sink upstairs. The drain was clogged something awful. Once I got the stopper thingy out, getting the gook out was fairly easy, as well as nasty. I described it to my better half as "guts, some black stuff, and about 50 Slim Jims" and some hair to boot.
Now that it's unclogged, it drains like an airplane bathroom, with air pressure sucking the water down. Just watch out for the blue ice if you're downstairs.

I'm trying to watch the Knicks-Pistons "game" and the strangest thing is happening. In the background, you can hear all the sound about 5 seconds before you hear it in sync with the picture. The other channels seem to be working normally, though they do sometimes sound a bit tinny. I'm thinking it's time to get a new receiver. I've had this one for about 3 years, and I think when I got it, it was a bit behind the times. since we moved, it tends to 'Overload' when there is a short, loud sound like gunshots. It's pretty annoying. I guess it *could* be the way I wired it which may or may not be the same way it was before we moved. Eh. Something to look forward to.
Time for an ice cream sandwich and then OC!

Out.

Porch sittin'
Have I ever told you how much of an idiot I can be?? It doesn't happen often, but I make sure to get my money's worth: One of the many bedrooms we have here at FuzzyMansion contains our treadmill, a tv/dvd combo, and a whole bunch of crap. Some people have a drawer, we have a room. Anyhoo, I decided that one way to keep the rest of the house a bit warmer would be to keep the doors closed to the rooms that we rarely use. I'm in this room for about an hour when I get home from work to use the treadmill. After that, I might peek in to use some of the food we have stashed in there, or maybe to look for something that I think my better half hid in there when we were moving in.
The knob has a lock on it that engages by pushing in a big button from the inside of the room. On the wall, there is a big rubber stopper to help keep the knob from scuffing or indenting the wall. It makes a lot of sense to be there, and I'm happy that it is. However, when the door is opened with enough force, the rubber stopper thingy is perfectly positioned to engage the lock. I discovered this a few months ago but forgot. Needless to say, I just locked ourselves out of that room.
I guess now when I go for my Weight Watchers' weigh in, I'll have a great excuse for fattening up.
There is no obvious way to unlock the door. I had to remove a similar knob from the door to the garage and it took me a few days to do it, even after I resorted to bashing the bejesus out of it with a claw hammer.
Maybe I left the window open that looks out onto the patio? Or I could install a doggy door from the other bedroom into that one (I have been meaning to drill a hole between the two rooms to feed the cable to the tv in there...) for whenever this happens again.
I guess I'll be shopping for more knobs for the other 6 doors in the house. ARGH!!!

On the plus side, tonight's OC has the most potential for an all-time great episode since the one where skinny girl and the hot blonde lesbian kissed.

Question: Have any of you heard of the band Morningwood? Aside from the humorous name, are they any good? Would I like them?

Lemme know.

Random lyrics:

I don't mean to brag
I don't mean to boast
I like hot butter on my breakfast toast.

Sigh, I was in the middle of blogging last night and tried to save what I had but now it's gone. Forever. I should probably be more pissed about it but I'm too Even Steven for that now.

I got this from the Greenbelt, MD police report for the week ending 1/13/06:

01/10 7500 block Greenbelt Road. Flim flam. The victim advised that she was in the parking lot
7:06 P.M. of Greenway Shopping Center when she was approached by the first suspect. The suspect was holding a wallet and asked the victim if it was hers. The victim stated no, at which time the second suspect grabbed the wallet and opened it. Inside was what appeared to be a large amount of money and some sort of bonds. The suspects told the victim that if she would withdraw money from her bank as a show of good faith she could take part in the proceeds of the found money. The victim then went to her bank, took out a large sum of money and gave it to the suspects, who then told the victim to wait inside the Safeway until a man arrived to ! give her more money. The suspects then fled the scene with the victim's money. The suspects are described as a black female, 40 to 49 years of age, 5'8", 200 pounds, with a dark complexion and bad teeth, wearing a black curly wig, a black leather coat , a beige shirt and black boots and a black female, 40 to 49 years of age, 5'9", 200 pounds, wearing a black hat, a grey jacket and skirt.

First of all, does this mean that someone can be legally charged with "Flim Flam"? Do these people get their own prisons to keep them away from the murders, thieves, and jaywalkers?
Second, shouldn't the "victim" be locked up for a couple of weeks in stocks in the center of town for all of us to let this woman know that she's an idiot and should have some of her freedoms taken away for wasting everyone's time?
"Hey Complete Stranger, here's a wallet with something that looks like cash. If you give us some of yours, you can have some of this. Just wait right here and somebody will eventually be back with your prize" Frankly, the flim-flam artists should be given an award for not laughing in this woman's face.
I know my mom always told me to stay away from someone with "bad teeth and a curly wig".

Porch sittin'
I'm finally watching Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on one of the hbos that we have. How is it that Mr. Steve Martin didn't win an Oscar for the scene where Michael Caine kept whapping him with the little metal dealy? He was robbed.
I just finished making waffles. Cara and I got the ubiquitous (Belgian) waffle maker for our wedding, probably at my request, and I haven't used it as much as I would've liked, though it's probably about the norm for wedding gifts such as this. The recipe called for enough batter to make 4 waffles, but I only ate one. I'm gonna try the Good Eats method to freeze the rest. It's not really a method so much as it is putting each one in a ziplock bag and putting them in the freezer. Maybe I can get my name attached to that method, much like the "Caine-Hackman Theory".
For those of you who may not know, the Caine-Hackman theory was introduced to us in the movie PCU with Jeremy Piven and David Spade. One of the members of the frat was researching a thesis that at any time of day or night, there is a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie on tv. A Bridge Too Far, with both actors (also: James Caan, Sean Conery, Elliott Gould, Anthony Hopkins, Laurence Olivier, Robert Redford, Ryan O'Neal) would be his closing argument.
Frankly, this movie sounds like a key step in any 6 Degrees game.

My weekend plans: My buddy Tu is coming over so we can get sushi @ Sakura here in Bowie, and then maybe we'll watch some football. Actually, it's a guaratee that I'm going to watch, it's just a question of how long he sticks around for.
We both really really really want the Redskins to lose today. I wasn't surprised that they beat Tampa last week. It seems like the wild card games are filled with teams that aren't complete, they just played an easier schedule than some other teams. Seattle seems to be a vastly more formidable opponent than Tampa. But then, if Washington didn't get all those turnovers, they would've lost the game.
Tonight, if Cara ever gets out of work, we're gonna have dinner and maybe watch a movie. I'm going to make the Macaroni and Cheese recipe that was in the NY Times a few weeks ago. We'll probably also wind up drinking a lot too. That's been our new thing is Saturday night binge drinking. It's pretty fun. Cara has her margaritas and appletinis, and I'll drink pretty much anything that isn't 'girly'. It's always nice to hold on to a bit of your youth, isn't it?

Anyhoo, I gots to get a shower so I'll talk to y'all later.

Porch sittin'

Have I mentioned how much I hate Olive Garden?
Probably not as this is my first post (maybe the 2nd if I figure out how to retrieve a draft)

Back when i was 16, I loved the place. It was the first of the chain, flavorless, crappy service restaurants that make a living of their advertising campaign. Since then, I've found that i can make a better dish. The marinara sauce is watery and bland, and everything else is in an unhealthy alfredo sauce. The serving portions aren't enough to overcome those deficencies. The service is routinely awful.
They're nice enough to indicate a few lower calorie dishes, but there's only like 3 of them. 3. I think one of them is just the salad.

Last Monday, Jan. 2, I had to work (such is the life of an accountant, we can't get enough of it) As a reward, we were bought lunch on the company. My boss was going to make the pickup and told me that she wasn't going to Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse in Landover/Largo but would drive to the OG in Bowie. I was highly disappointed with this, but the big picture was the free lunch.
I made sure to get my money's worth: linguini with seafood, liter bottle of mineral water, and a slice of cheesecake to bring home to my better half. If I had to work on her last day off before busy season, she was going to get something out of it.
The seafood amounted to 3 mussels, 4 or 5 of the little scallops, and maybe a half dozen of the inch-diameter shrimp. Oh, and there was maybe 2 ounces of pasta, all for the outrageous price of $10!!! (the special lunch price)
I will never be going there again. If I really need a pasta fix, I'll just make it myself. Lord knows I have enough of it sitting around.

Quote of the day: "Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I wouldn't know because I'd never eat the filthy motherfucker."
- Jules - Pulp Fiction

Porch sittin'

Did anyone see this article http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/07/AR2006010701009.html ??
From what I gather, this guy cursed in front of some other Navy guys. Since when is it a crime to cuss like a sailor when you actually ARE a sailor???

Quote of the day: "Scotty doesn't know, Scotty doesn't know..."